Today (26/4/09), I don't know is a happy day for me or angry day.
As usual, I work until 4.30pm today. Because of I got club meeting cum celebrating my leo advisor birthday and I also got class gathering, so I can't go home after work.
4.30pm, suddenly rain come. Shoot! How am I going to take bus to Leisure Mall? No choice. Got to rush there. Reached. "Ms.A" supposed go look for present for our Leo Advisor first before I reached. When I reached she only tell me that she forgot to bring money out and haven't go look for anything yet. Damm~. I don't know feel funny or angry. She know that we got to rush to the place at 5pm. Some more she makes the things until 6pm only reached the place. Make all the people there wait for us. I was very sorry to them. Coz I'm the one who ask the meeting to held it early.
During the meeting, I inform my leo advisor that I'll be taking long break. Means that I won't be very active for one year in club. Everyone heard it and ask why. What I can answer is "nothing" "secret". "Ms.A" pula ask me "do I know what is your reason?" I just answer "No and I'm not going to tell you". Then she sangat mahu muka. And said you don't tell me I also know la. Haih~ I don't care what she think la.
Then best friend of mine "Mr.A" said "later you tell me ar" then I said, "I told you already ma". Then he said oh is it? I know this best friend of mine very forgetful. So, I don't mind.
After the meeting, I got to rush to the gathering. I felt so sorry again because I got to rush over, and I didn't even said goodbye to my friends and listen to them.
Although in the whole meeting I also got laugh, but I really don't know is out from the heart not.
Rush to class gathering. No feeling at all. Just feel that I'm back to those days. Those happy days in secondary school.
I heard a lot of advice from one of my friend back to part time studies. But, what I think that, different people, different attitude and thinking. So, some I agree and some disagree. But, I'm still don't know who am I actually nowadays. Am I Tammy?
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
I'm Changing
This few days I was thinking something about myself. I felt that I'm changing. From like to laugh to seldom laugh. From a very talkative person to seldom talk person. And also from like to talk to people become don't like.
I have club meeting this few months as usual. During this month I can't attend because I'm having exam. And a lot's of problem I want to settle become I got to ask my best friend to help to settle. But, after this month I don't really want to attend any meeting. Because I don't feel like going. Some people will ask me why. I also don't know. Just think that I'm tired. I really need a break. And I wish to stay at home more than going out.
I really don't know what happen to myself? I missed the days that I laugh as much as I can, talk as much as I can and chat with friends as much as I can. But now, except I wish to talk to my god brother "Kevin" and my best friend "Mr.A", I don't feel like want to talk with anyone. I understand that both of them also busy with their own things sometimes, so I also seldom disturb them. Some more brother is at Suzhou working, next year only back. Left "Mr.A" can talk too. But, I seldom and don't wish to disturb him. Coz he busy than me.
I don't feel like talk to my family about my problem. I know what they will said. Sometimes I'll cry during midnight when everyone slept. Because that time is the best time for me to express my feelings. Nobody know what I'm doing. I really don't know what way I can use except cry out as much as I can. I really feel that very hard to express my feelings although sometimes I can talk to "Kevin" and "Mr.A". Just don't know how to tell them what I feel. Sometimes I even change topic or become speechless. Coz I also don't know what happen to myself. I feel lost.
Those people I don't like them I wish I can tell them so they know what's their problem is. But, I don't know why I didn't tell. I think I'm too good. I don't wish to hurt anyone of them. Even I don't wish to received any phone calls except "Kevin" and "Mr.A". I feel that its very noisy. I need a quiet place to cool down.
Laugh also not from the heart. All is pretend out. Days before now I laugh out from heart. But now...
Since when I changed? Why I'll become like that? I wish I can back to those happy days. I missed my secondary school life. I missed my college friends and lecturers and my colleague in Elken. I really missed those days with them.
I just hope that I can graduate from the Uni faster. I feel so stress. Uni life really different from college. Although this is the experience that everyone will go through.
Haih~
I have club meeting this few months as usual. During this month I can't attend because I'm having exam. And a lot's of problem I want to settle become I got to ask my best friend to help to settle. But, after this month I don't really want to attend any meeting. Because I don't feel like going. Some people will ask me why. I also don't know. Just think that I'm tired. I really need a break. And I wish to stay at home more than going out.
I really don't know what happen to myself? I missed the days that I laugh as much as I can, talk as much as I can and chat with friends as much as I can. But now, except I wish to talk to my god brother "Kevin" and my best friend "Mr.A", I don't feel like want to talk with anyone. I understand that both of them also busy with their own things sometimes, so I also seldom disturb them. Some more brother is at Suzhou working, next year only back. Left "Mr.A" can talk too. But, I seldom and don't wish to disturb him. Coz he busy than me.
I don't feel like talk to my family about my problem. I know what they will said. Sometimes I'll cry during midnight when everyone slept. Because that time is the best time for me to express my feelings. Nobody know what I'm doing. I really don't know what way I can use except cry out as much as I can. I really feel that very hard to express my feelings although sometimes I can talk to "Kevin" and "Mr.A". Just don't know how to tell them what I feel. Sometimes I even change topic or become speechless. Coz I also don't know what happen to myself. I feel lost.
Those people I don't like them I wish I can tell them so they know what's their problem is. But, I don't know why I didn't tell. I think I'm too good. I don't wish to hurt anyone of them. Even I don't wish to received any phone calls except "Kevin" and "Mr.A". I feel that its very noisy. I need a quiet place to cool down.
Laugh also not from the heart. All is pretend out. Days before now I laugh out from heart. But now...
Since when I changed? Why I'll become like that? I wish I can back to those happy days. I missed my secondary school life. I missed my college friends and lecturers and my colleague in Elken. I really missed those days with them.
I just hope that I can graduate from the Uni faster. I feel so stress. Uni life really different from college. Although this is the experience that everyone will go through.
Haih~
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Tired week
This week is the most tired week I'm having. Why I said that? I also don't know why. Just feel that not enough sleep and can't sleep at night. When slept, nightmare come. I dream of my exam whole night. The formula, the steps how to answer the question. All about exam. Its makes me can't really sleep at all. What week is this?
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Why? Tell me why?
Why? Why? Why? Why? Why this world is so unfair? Why a good person always "dibuli"? Why a bad person always "tidak dibuli"? Is it really good to become a bad person rather than a good person?
I really can't become a bad person. I can't do it. I always told myself not to be so good & kind. But in the end, failed. I really felt tired. What should I do? How can I solve this problem? Help.... I really need some advice from others...
I really can't become a bad person. I can't do it. I always told myself not to be so good & kind. But in the end, failed. I really felt tired. What should I do? How can I solve this problem? Help.... I really need some advice from others...
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
University Life
Is all the university life like this? Study & stress like hell? I really don't know when can I stand for it until. I really really really have no idea. Who can help me? Stress up when think that a lot of assignment & coursework got to do. Some more got to prepare for midterm & final, sometimes got presentation & quiz also.
The most worry things that we students in this University is about the calculation marks procedure in final exam. Its really makes all of us worry, scared & stress up when come to final. Coz the calculation procedure was different with others college. If we can't get half from the total, we will deduct 40% from the total we got.
Although I really enjoy with my new friends there. But still will feel that I'll be crazy soon. Sad Sad~
The most worry things that we students in this University is about the calculation marks procedure in final exam. Its really makes all of us worry, scared & stress up when come to final. Coz the calculation procedure was different with others college. If we can't get half from the total, we will deduct 40% from the total we got.
Although I really enjoy with my new friends there. But still will feel that I'll be crazy soon. Sad Sad~
Thursday, February 12, 2009
A Letter to Brother
Dear Brother,
How are you in SuZhou now? Its already the 4th day you left KL. Hope everything fine there.
I read your blog today. Its sounds that you are enjoying the place there. Coz buy things there is cheper than in KL. That's for sure. But, please don't buy electronic things there. That's what my tour guide told us last time when me & my family went to Beijing last year.
Me & Jason was quite sad coz you left us in KL and you in SuZhou. We felt lonely without you. See! We missed you so much......
Brother, I saw you ate the instant noodles there. Tried get "kong sifu". Its really nice. Trust me! Until now I still missed the taste. Yummy~
Did you bring along the scraft I bought you? Is it useful? Can help? Hehe... coz I'm not sure whether is will help on cool wheather like now a not.
Hope you enjoy as much as you can over there ya! Faster go get one "ah sou" back for me ya! Hahahahaha......Just kidding!
That's it for now. Take good care of yourself ya! Drink more water when the weather change to hot! Bye~
How are you in SuZhou now? Its already the 4th day you left KL. Hope everything fine there.
I read your blog today. Its sounds that you are enjoying the place there. Coz buy things there is cheper than in KL. That's for sure. But, please don't buy electronic things there. That's what my tour guide told us last time when me & my family went to Beijing last year.
Me & Jason was quite sad coz you left us in KL and you in SuZhou. We felt lonely without you. See! We missed you so much......
Brother, I saw you ate the instant noodles there. Tried get "kong sifu". Its really nice. Trust me! Until now I still missed the taste. Yummy~
Did you bring along the scraft I bought you? Is it useful? Can help? Hehe... coz I'm not sure whether is will help on cool wheather like now a not.
Hope you enjoy as much as you can over there ya! Faster go get one "ah sou" back for me ya! Hahahahaha......Just kidding!
That's it for now. Take good care of yourself ya! Drink more water when the weather change to hot! Bye~
Sunday, February 1, 2009
During Chinese New Year
As usual, this year cny i went back to ipoh with my family again. This time stay there longer then last few years. Coz my mum said she want to go visiting a lot of her relatives house this year as their age very old already. Scared no chance.
Reunion & 1st day of cny no place to go. So, I just do all my Uni coursework and assignment. Sad. CNY holiday=no cny holiday. Haih~.
2nd day we went to Penang visit my dad's sister and have lunch with them.
3rd day we went to 4th grandpaternaluncle house. He already 70+ years old. In the whole conversation between him & my mum they all, I felt that this uncle really is a good person. Why I said that? Because when he talk about when he is young, how to help people, his tears start to come out. What happen is when he is young last time, he don't care how poor he is. As long as his brother's family & friends need help (in money issue), he will give all his money to them to help out. But, sad case is, in the end, nobody appreciated him when his brother's chilren grown up. What kind of this people is? So sad. Only my mum's family & the other friend of my grandpaternaluncle know how to appreciated him back. When I heard that story, I really think that in this world is it really that a good person always will be no "balas baik balik" in the end?
4th day we went to my mum's family friend house, then go lunch, then back home. After dinner at 6pm, then we back to KL. On the way back to KL, I think of my god brother again. Soon, he will flying off already. Really feel sad about it.
5th day actually one of my friend want to go for movie then in the end she said got things on. So, cancelled. So, my best friend said both of us go lo. Then both of us go for movie.
6th day Uni start. No where to go. After class, went to my brother babysitter sister's house bbq.
7th day go visit teacher's house. A lot of things happen on that day. This one sick la. This one car got problem la. Haih~ make the whole planning in mess.
8th day & 9th day back to normal life.
10th day went Tesco with friends buy things to prepare for 11th day event. It was fun. Coz we bought like crazy. But was very tiring coz of not enough sleep during pass few days.
11th day woke up very early again. Went to market bought those food that didn't buy on 10th day. Then went to Giant buy things that we forgot to buy at Tesco. At 2pm, our Lion come. Then start to go to PJ. Half way, car broke down. Under hot sun, wait until the mechanic come. Waited for an hour. Here they come & another Lion come rescue us. Reach PJ around 4pm. Then start to boil soup, set up & stuff. Preparation end around 8pm. Then sit down with members & guest. Start eating around 8.30pm. Was not happy because don't know why there's someone so "kan cheong" to ask me help to close account & do report. Don't that person know that I'm still eating? Why can't wait? Nobody asking for the report yet. Event end around 12am. On the way home, my best friend car kena saman. So cham~. Reach home around 1pm. Take bath and stuff, almost 2am only go to bed.
12th day Woke up at 7am again. Got class at 8am. Not enough sleep again. Keep on like this I really don't know can I tahan a not. Really felt very tired already. Hope to have a break. Saw my re-sit result. Was upset, results same as final. Don't understand why. Finding out. Got to retake both of the subject again. Haih~
13th day Woke up at 6.30am. Was so sleepy. But no choice, coz got to sent mum to her office. The whole company are going down to Redang. Then go have breakfast after sent her to office. Then go for class at 9am. Class started at 9.05am. Half way of class, I was very very sleepy. My eyes start dropping down. Shoot! Then fall asleep around 10 minutes. Then I can't tahan. Go washroom wash my face. Feel better. Noon class start at 1.30pm. Feel sleepy again around 2.30pm. Go wash face again. Class end at 4.30pm. Rush home, then rush to Claris Music to meet my colleague and go for company annual dinner. We start journey at 7.30pm. I car pool colleague A car. Colleague B lead us the way. Guess what? He lead the way until me & my colleague A lost our way. He didn't see whether are we behind at him not he go stratght. Then told us that he wait us somewhere. Ask us go meet him. We said ok. What's happen in the end was we reach that place, he went somewhere else. Shoot la. Then we called other colleague for help to lead us there through telephone. Really thanks for help. Coz she sambil makan, sambil lead us. Poor things. The venue instead spent us around 20minutes to reach became 1 hour plus to reach. At 1.40am, Brother fly off to China. :'( Sob Sob...... Felt sad...... Brother, take care ya!
14th day nothing special. Just went to work then go home.
15th day In the end, it is the last day of CNY. Went for a movie with my friends. Then go home.
Reunion & 1st day of cny no place to go. So, I just do all my Uni coursework and assignment. Sad. CNY holiday=no cny holiday. Haih~.
2nd day we went to Penang visit my dad's sister and have lunch with them.
3rd day we went to 4th grandpaternaluncle house. He already 70+ years old. In the whole conversation between him & my mum they all, I felt that this uncle really is a good person. Why I said that? Because when he talk about when he is young, how to help people, his tears start to come out. What happen is when he is young last time, he don't care how poor he is. As long as his brother's family & friends need help (in money issue), he will give all his money to them to help out. But, sad case is, in the end, nobody appreciated him when his brother's chilren grown up. What kind of this people is? So sad. Only my mum's family & the other friend of my grandpaternaluncle know how to appreciated him back. When I heard that story, I really think that in this world is it really that a good person always will be no "balas baik balik" in the end?
4th day we went to my mum's family friend house, then go lunch, then back home. After dinner at 6pm, then we back to KL. On the way back to KL, I think of my god brother again. Soon, he will flying off already. Really feel sad about it.
5th day actually one of my friend want to go for movie then in the end she said got things on. So, cancelled. So, my best friend said both of us go lo. Then both of us go for movie.
6th day Uni start. No where to go. After class, went to my brother babysitter sister's house bbq.
7th day go visit teacher's house. A lot of things happen on that day. This one sick la. This one car got problem la. Haih~ make the whole planning in mess.
8th day & 9th day back to normal life.
10th day went Tesco with friends buy things to prepare for 11th day event. It was fun. Coz we bought like crazy. But was very tiring coz of not enough sleep during pass few days.
11th day woke up very early again. Went to market bought those food that didn't buy on 10th day. Then went to Giant buy things that we forgot to buy at Tesco. At 2pm, our Lion come. Then start to go to PJ. Half way, car broke down. Under hot sun, wait until the mechanic come. Waited for an hour. Here they come & another Lion come rescue us. Reach PJ around 4pm. Then start to boil soup, set up & stuff. Preparation end around 8pm. Then sit down with members & guest. Start eating around 8.30pm. Was not happy because don't know why there's someone so "kan cheong" to ask me help to close account & do report. Don't that person know that I'm still eating? Why can't wait? Nobody asking for the report yet. Event end around 12am. On the way home, my best friend car kena saman. So cham~. Reach home around 1pm. Take bath and stuff, almost 2am only go to bed.
12th day Woke up at 7am again. Got class at 8am. Not enough sleep again. Keep on like this I really don't know can I tahan a not. Really felt very tired already. Hope to have a break. Saw my re-sit result. Was upset, results same as final. Don't understand why. Finding out. Got to retake both of the subject again. Haih~
13th day Woke up at 6.30am. Was so sleepy. But no choice, coz got to sent mum to her office. The whole company are going down to Redang. Then go have breakfast after sent her to office. Then go for class at 9am. Class started at 9.05am. Half way of class, I was very very sleepy. My eyes start dropping down. Shoot! Then fall asleep around 10 minutes. Then I can't tahan. Go washroom wash my face. Feel better. Noon class start at 1.30pm. Feel sleepy again around 2.30pm. Go wash face again. Class end at 4.30pm. Rush home, then rush to Claris Music to meet my colleague and go for company annual dinner. We start journey at 7.30pm. I car pool colleague A car. Colleague B lead us the way. Guess what? He lead the way until me & my colleague A lost our way. He didn't see whether are we behind at him not he go stratght. Then told us that he wait us somewhere. Ask us go meet him. We said ok. What's happen in the end was we reach that place, he went somewhere else. Shoot la. Then we called other colleague for help to lead us there through telephone. Really thanks for help. Coz she sambil makan, sambil lead us. Poor things. The venue instead spent us around 20minutes to reach became 1 hour plus to reach. At 1.40am, Brother fly off to China. :'( Sob Sob...... Felt sad...... Brother, take care ya!
14th day nothing special. Just went to work then go home.
15th day In the end, it is the last day of CNY. Went for a movie with my friends. Then go home.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
