Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Nothing...just revising...

This 2 months while having term breaks, I went to worl. Really busy working everyday. When I'm back to normal alone, I think of so much of things. Happy moment we somebody, with club, in office and etc.

But, there's one things that I don't understand is, why this world have politics? In club, in office and etc. This person don't like this person and etc.

Recently, I felt that I changed. I start feeling boring going out with some people in the group that I don't really want to go out with, I start to feel that being alone was good. I'm not saying about partner. Just saying about friends. I'm starting say "NO" to others when I really can't help them. I don't really know this is call cruel or bad. Is just that I know that my limit is where until.

Now, I felt that home for me is quite and safe place for me. At outside world, is noisy and dangerous. When I'm young that time, I love to go out and have fun. Maybe is because now old liao. Hehe... sometimes people said they are old I laugh at them. Now I saying about it. Is true. When you get older, you will feel more tiring.

I'm different in different places. When with friends, I'll be very crazy. When I'm alone, I'll be very quite. When I wiith best friends or partner, I'll be serious.

This days I also found that, no matter how many hours I slept also feel tired. Huh~ panda eyes also coming out liao.... so scary...

I'm starting to miss the days when I'm young. Today went to macd. Saw a grandpa brought 3 of his grandson go macd. It's make me think of my grandpa also. So sad that he was not in this world anymore. :'(

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Own responsibility

Aren't people suppose to be responsible on their own job, task that had given or assign to them? Why this people always ask people help them to do their job that are not that person should do? Guys, please! Do not takes things for granted. Each people have their own things to do and time to rest. If the person can help then is ok. But when people tell you no then please do not force that person. YES means YES, NO means NO!

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

2012

Today went to watch 2012 with my brother. Nice show... But its scary...

Can I ask a very silly question here? Will 2012 really the end of the world? A lot of people spreading it everywhere... or just because of the show?

Why I said is scary... inmagine if the world is ending. And you have not much time to spent with your family, loved one, and things that you haven't do or fufill... scary right?

In the show, they can survive in the end because of they found their way.

Hope that everyone here will appreciated what you have and precious your time to do what you want to do...

Weather Change

Yesterday mum told me & my brother that this friday better becareful because the weather will change until very scaed people. Will have freak winter storm. It will be very cold and better have jacket with us. Is that true? Why suddenly the weather change like that??? I really a bit scared leh...

Monday, November 16, 2009

So Paiseh...

Haih... Yesterday went to my club Leo Orientation. Almost end that time gastric pula... What the... make me so paiseh la... why? Because that time we are having a practice... So many people look at me... Huhuhuhu....

I learned a lot of things from this seminar also... Apprecisted it so much... but sad that we don;t have the notes... Haih...

Sunday, November 8, 2009

I'm not enjoying it at all...

I was so sleepy now...OMG!!! Its only left half an hour before I end my work... Shoot!!! Haih... All becuase of there is someone who want me to work things out for them in the midnight... So I got no choice to burn mid-night oil again.... Haiz...

I was felling not enjoying my day with the group of people already... I start that I feel boring when I know that I'm going with them... But I have no choice coz we got to work things out together... Maybe it was like what my the other friend said maybe because our age gap is quite different. Lucky I still enjoy with this friend when we are together... We always go for movie, chatting in MSN and etc...

Because of this reason, I start being lazy to attend those event or meetings that they are there... OMG... Who can help me to ask the lazy worm to get off from my body??? Or I was being spreaded virus from this friend of mine? Coz he and she also feel that...

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Feeling bad? Feel rude?

Today went out with 2 friends for movie & dinner. When paying both, I decided to treat my best friend is because he don't want to accept the fees that he suppose to except last month. Not because of this also, he also always fetching me here and there. I feel so bad. So, I decided to do so.

During we doing the payment I asked him to keep back his money and my tone was so rude...Feel so bad la... although after reach home, I apologize to him via MSN, but, I'm still feel so bad.... :(

He also like owe-ing people money feel not comfortable as well. That day we shared money to bought a friend a birthday present. Coz his not on the spot so I pay first. When we in the car, we talked about it and he ask how much I owe you already ar??? Then he fast fast pay me back... Actually what I think is, if he not paying me back I also don't mind. Coz I really owe him too much already... Huh~

Guys, don't think too much. We are just best friend ya...

Monday, October 26, 2009

Huh~

What a weird feeling is this??? I thought that I was didn't write on my blog very long... In the end, I logged into here and found out that I still logging in last month. Haiz....

In the end, here come to the end of the semester. I started to work full time after I rest 2 days at home after my final exam end...

I wish to go for holiday but no money, no people free to go with me and some more got H1N1. No one dare to go for holiday....

After 2 months holiday got to back to real life again... how I wish that I can get out of the study life faster... What la me... want to back to study life is me... want to get out from study life also me... What happen to me????

Huh~

Friday, October 9, 2009

I was so angry now

Damm it... what group did 3 of us had joined into for our group assignment. When our part that we in charge had finished now the member come tell us want to change topic. Who do you think you are? Group leader also don't want to change.

You guys know that is already not enough time? We got to hand in next friday. And some more final exam coming. You guys don't need to do revision is you guys problem. We want to do revision.

Come on la. Decide already don't change la. Change what? I don't have so much time to gila with you guys la. If want to change should tell out the first day when we deciding the topic la. You guys didn't even tell lecturer and change it without telling him. If we same topic with other group then how?

Celaka~

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Is it?

I was thinking a question nowadays... Is it people's are normally like this? I think is yes.

The question is:

People's that not dare to tell, express something to the other person face to face is it normally will change their way by using sms, email etc?

And why my answer is yes is I found out a lot of this people use to do it like this. Is it good or bad?

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Please drive safe

On 1st October, I heard that one of my secondary school mate passed away coz of car accident. I was so sad...

He only 24 years old, just married and have a child. Such a sad case.

Dear friends, please drive safely when you are driving, think about your family and your loves one. They will be very sad when they received such sad news. And I don't wish to received this kind of news. My heart was so pain when I heard it.

Guys, please drive safe ok?

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Praying Hard

Today sat for my International Business Mid-Term exam. Thought that I'm prepared. After I received my question paper. No. I'm not well prepared... OMG...!!! I got no choice to simply wrote something on it that what I remember. Shoot that is when I reached home looking for answer, saw that I answered wrong answer for one of the question. OMG!!!

What can I do now is just praying hard that I can go through. And my assignment can get high marks. And now, I got to rush out another 2 assignment out before dateline. And I got to fight for the best marks in my final exam. Still got to pray hard until end of this semester.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

I hate those people

Today, I'm trying to advise a friend that talk to her mum so rude. Is it a bad things that I told her not to talk to her mum so rude?

Although I don't know how is her mum attitude... but also mah... next time sure "hou hui".

At the back of me tell another friend that I'm bad that I said it to her. What la... I'm advising you some more you talk bad about me behind of me? I hate this kind of people la. You want to talk, talk in front of me la. Why want to talk bad behind of me?

Some more I help you so much. Like that also don't appreciate. Next time don't come and ask me to help.

I advise you is for your own good. You don't care. Then I don't care la. Next time see who suffer. Always pretend cute, don't you know like that you make people more hate you? Don't you know the whole group of people you joining also anti-you?

Please go home and think yourself properly before you talk bad about people behind. You more things let people said behind of you. Just that you yourself didn't realise it.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

My heart is crying

Today went Mcd with daddy and brother. Suddenly daddy ask me to check the receipts that looks the price was weird. Yup.Is correct. There's a problem in it.

Daddy go find out from the counter. Came back and he said the person said is correct. Daddy asked me to re-calculate again by using his formula that he told. Its so complicated and as most of you know that my maths was so damm sucks.

In the end, kena scold by daddy. As he know it earlier that my maths was so sucks and he scold me secukup-cukup. I was so sad and my tears was coming out that I holding not to let it out.

My heart is crying very badly. My lovely daddy scolded me. I was so sad... That's so long daddy didn't scold me since after my primary school. My heart is really crying like raining heavily...

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Feeling

Suddenly I was having a feeling that can't really express it out. What feeling was that? Think of someone and I felt that I'm missing this person. Who is this? Haha... let you guys guess about it.

Huh~ What a "cham" situation? Why suddenly felt that? Tammy! Don't think so much... concentrate on your work. Not enough time la... Gambateh!!!

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Holiday over

In the end, my semester break has been over. New semester start. What I have done during my semester break? Nothing much. Just work and busy with club stuff. Huh~ No fun at all.

First day of class the lecturer already gave us a lot of assignment that we got to start do it from today. Huh~ OMG! Short semester normally really rush and busy...

Results out. One of my subject failed. Is HR subject. I suppose can pass. All because of my english not good. Must go fing english class to improve already. My lecturer said my english no good. So, he can't understand what I trying to say in my final. So, its makes me failed. Sad sad...

Now, I got to spend RM200 to re-sit this HR paper. Although my english still weak, I will try to write it cleary what I want to say this time.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Brother Left

Brother had left again. His back to SuZhou already... Don't know why, this time I was ok with it compare to last time. Maybe because I already use to it or maybe because I failed to meet up with him this time.

Actually should meet up geh... My stupid USB kena virus makes my friend got to come to my house to fix it at the same time. My friend late pula. Make my appointment with my bro got to postponed. On the other day supposed to meet up. Then bro sms said that he don't feel like going out. Haih~

Anyway, hope I can meet bro up the next trip he back during CNY next year...

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Event and Bro is leaving soon...

Today, went to an event. This event supposingly not I'm doing the job. In the end, the ball throw it to me. This event is my club Joint Installation with others 15 leo clubs.

In the planning stage was very stress even before the event start. Coz a lot of things, the other department haven't confirm the list to us as our club is doing the protocol. Luckily, this time the lions in-charge of this event was very helpful. Not like few years back. They just leave it to us.

I was very tired running up and down, although there are member who helping us out. But, the main person still me & the other guy.

During the event, was not so stress anymore. And its just like 1 hour. It run very fast. But, my leg was so pain.

In the end, the venet was over. But, there is a lot of things that they need to know. They are really messy and not well planned.

One more day, brother is flying off back to Suzhou. Sad that we don't have time to meet up. Hope that next year CNY he back can meet up.

Monday, August 10, 2009

I need rest~

Yesterday, I was on the way back from Ipoh. Listening to my songs in my handphone. Suddenly, I felt so sad. I thinking of, don't know when all my closest family are not with me anymore, how am I? I was very scared. I scared I was alone with my brother. Coz there's no other closest family member is with us.

Maybe is because I was over-stress with my revision for my final exam that having this week. Even at night I slept, I also got dream out all the things that I have revised in the morning until evening. Huh~ When can its stop?

Currently, I was tired with everything. I want rest, I want fresh air. But, in the end, can't have this rest and fresh air also. Haih~

I hope there's a place for me to shout out as loud as I can, as much as I can. But, I don't think in KL here got. If got, sure kena scold from people.

Friday, August 7, 2009

Things still like usual

Huh~ Applied leave = didn't apply leave. Why say so? I thought that after I applied leave, they won't keep on asking me things and ask me to help out. But, in the end, still the same. Especially this person. She is weak in everything.

I don't understand why everything she also want to ask me, want to ask me to help. Just for your info, she is a president. Is president job is asking a on leave people this and that? Some more I didn't become a president before. How can I give a correct answer??? Haih~

I don't know when I start having a nightmare when final exam is coming. Oh my god... when can all this things can stop happening to me??? I really need a break... After next saturday, I will have a temporary break. I want to have as much sleep as possible. Nowadays really not enough sleep at all... All because of my final...Huhuhuhuhuh~

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Yeah...coming back...

Yeah... Today surfing around facebook. Suddenly saw something unbelievable... brother is coming back... Yeah... he is coming back tomorrow flight. But, he only will be back here for a 3 weeks holiday.

After 3 weeks, I'll be sad again. Coz he got to go back to SuZhou to work until his contract end only will be bcak again...

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Abandoned Old Parents

This morning when buying newspaper, I saw the headlines is regarding old people being abandoned.

I don't understand why nowadays, so many people's start to abandoned their own old parents. Don't they know that they are their own parents? When you are young, your parents take care of you, spend so much money on you. But now, they grow old. They need you to take care of them, give them money to use coz they already retired. What you do to them in the end? Abandoned them, sent them to old folks home, don't visit them anymore. What kind of this people's is. What kind of world is this?

When they get to know their parents pass away, they cry and say this, say that. Why I didn't take care of them? Why I let them being alone? Why this? Why that? What la... if you know you will be like that, please la. Don't treat your parents like that. They are your parents, the people's that most close to you is them also.

Dear people's, please think twice when you really want to do that. They are really "kesian"...

When I saw this news, you guys know how pain is my heart is???

Thursday, July 23, 2009

What???

What was happening to me? Final exam coming baru fall sick. Now still haven't fully recover yet. Everyday after took medicine felt so sleepy can't concentrate on doing revision. Cham... cough and flu please go away faster...

Haih~ next semester will be a thoughful semester for all of us. Why says so. The lecture and tutorial time had changed. From a normal 2 hours lecture change to 4 1/2 hours. From 1 1/2 hours tutorial changed to 3 hours. Haih~

If we can tahan, don't know whether the lecturer can tahan a not. Huh~

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

What semester is this?

This few days was busy with assignment. This semester we not same like last semester. This semester we really done our assignment last minutes. Previous semester we done our assignment very early. But, this semester I don't know why we will do it so last minutes. No preparation at all. Even presentation and mid-term exam. What happen to us this semester???

Next semester will be a short semester for all of us again. And the University have change from 2 hours lecture to become 3 or 4 hours lecture. Shoot! So "xin ku". Where can a lecture have it so many hours and break also limited. Huh~

Some more short semester is the most busy semester for all of us. Coz time limited. Coursework and assignment so much.... Help!

Honestly. I really don't enjoy my University life so much...

Monday, June 22, 2009

Mid-term

Today I had sat for my CMA mid-term exam paper. I felt that my performance not that good. Because my preparation work was not enough. Why? All because of the stupid ED assignment. Make the dateline so near to our mid-term exam. Haih~

I was so sad now. Because this subject is a re-take subject. I took it during my first sem in this Uni and I failed it. I only owe 10 marks to pass this paper. I don't hope that its happen again.

Can someone please help me? I just hope that the results release faster.

Saturday mid-term was ok. There's one question appear but the lecturer didn't teach us before. My format was correct. Just that there's one things that I think I do wrong. Coz she didn't teach us before. I also lost 1 marks in that paper coz I don't know how to do that question.

I need to put more extra effort in the assignment and final exam already from now on. Got to cut down on work now. Haih~ No money...

Father's Day

Yesterday was Father's Day. Brought dad to Legend hotel ate Japanese Buffet on Saturday. Daddy really loves Japanese Food. That's why we treat him Japanese Buffet.

Daddy really enjoyed the food there. Daddy don't wish me to pay as its too expensive. But I wanted to pay is because is daddy's day, and i'm pround of i'm daddy daugther. And I love him so much.

Daddy... Although I didn't say out how much I love you. But, I know that you know.
Daddy... I hope we always be at your side.
Daddy... We love you.

You are the hero in our family.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Missed Brother 2

Today, I went back to the same secret recipe which I went with Bro K last time to have lunch and do assignment there.

Guess what. I missed him so much when I sit at the other corner look at the place where me & him sat on last time. Huh~ What am I doing? Back to do assignment la. Haih~

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Time not enough to use...

This few days was super busy with my things. For example: coursework, assignment. Busy until i felt that time is not enough for me.

Last month and this month is like pass by very fast. Is really fast. This two month like I didn't learn anything.

This sat and next monday is my mid-term exam. This week still got to rush assignment that the dateline falls on 24th June. Die la... assignment haven't settle, exam haven't study. Die die die....

I need more time. I need more more more more time...... Help.............

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Missing brother

Huh~ Suddenly missed brother so much... I mean my god brother in China. I'm missing the days e went out for yum cha, dayswe went to night market, miss the dayswe at college. Huh~

Don't know how's brother there. Miss malaysia food? Miss his family? Miss his friends? And etc...

Thursday, May 28, 2009

The lecturer

The lecturer was sucks. Although he actually indirectly helping us to pass this subject and need us to hand in our proposal and assignment in a very short period, we know that he want to settle our marks fast so that we know how many marks we got to pass for the whole subject. But he just sucks la. Details don't give properly. Sometime like this, sometimes like that. Haih~

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Is she ok?

Huh~ what I said last time already become true. Is she ok? Why she want to be like that? I really don't undersand. Why she don't understand always come to me? Don't she know that I didn't take up this kind of post before? She should go ask those people that took this post before ma.

Haih~

Huh~

Yesterday after dinner, me & my parents sit down talk about mine & my brother childhood day. Really felt happy that time. Coz a lot of sweet memory during childhood. Nothings to "fan", nothing is unhappy.

After that chat, we prepare to go out, dad said he felt very hot. (After a heavy rain, normally we won't felt hot). He suspect will have fever. We ask him to go consult doctor due to the virus nowadays. He said don't need. Can eat some own fever medicine. Dad not listening to our advice. Huh~ so naughty.

Brother said nevermine la, we can take care him one day but can't take care him for the whole life. I know what my brother means. But, I don't hope that dad leave us. I know there's will be one day our parents will leave us. Everyone will die one day. But I don't wish that happen. I can't afford to face that.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Let it be or put it down?

Yesterday night before I'm going to bed, I was thinking of something. Something that I tried to not to think and make decicion about.

Now. I was thinking to let it be or to put it down. If I let it be, I don't know what's the conclusion will be, how long can I don't think about it anymore and how I make the decision. If I put it down, will I feel sad?

Its a hard decision for me. But now, I really don't know which way to choose.

:(

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Semester Started

Well, new semester had started last week. This week is the 2nd week. Most of the lecture started this week. There's a subject lecture started last week. This lecturer is too hardworking. Hardworking until give us a lot of coursework to do. Honestly, until today, I still haven't finish yet. Is too much and those question makes my brain stuck. Huh~ and the most important things is, my timetable full like... where got extra time? Sleep also not well already...

One of my subject is divided into two class (business student and non-business student). Thank god that this lecturer was smart. She ask who want to switch to the non-business group lecture? I sure want to switch, because the business group lecture was too big, not enough place to sit, air-cond also not enough. Some more we got to squeeze into a classroom. If I changed to the non-business group, less people, more air-cond, more sits and the most important is, we in the auditorium. Haha...

Yesterday night is another night that I can't sleep well again. A lot of nightdream appear. I dream of my coursework, I dream of got to spent money to buy books again, I dream of all my colleague in Elken, and etc. Haih~

When I only can get a good sleep? Help~

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

The Happiest Day I have currently

Last Sunday (3/5), went dinner with my ex-elken friends. There are Ms. A, Mr. A, Mr.B and Mr.C. This gang is the most happy gang I ever met. They can be very crazy all the times and make the place is the most noisy table.

This is the 3rd time I join them. Can't believe that this time I join them I can laugh out as much as I can and its from the heart. Huh~ Do you know that I really long time didn't laugh until tears out stomach pain. Really didn't experience it for a very long time. Thanks guys. Wish to have next round with you guys again...

Reached home at 10.30pm. Switch on my laptop. Connected to the internet. Shoot! What happen to my Internet Explorer? Click in, homepage out, then want to click into my Uni portal, can't click in. Even want to click anything from the hompage also can't. What happen? MSN can click, desktop also no problem.

Called Mr. A ask what happen. He said will come to check out on Monday (4/5). He said will drop by around 7pm-8pm. Ends up, he forget. I got no choice to ask him to come because quite urgent. All my notes in the portal and got to use it on the next day. In the end he came. Thank god... In the end, settled. Thanks to Mr. A. I really owe you many makan already. Next time I treat you.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Nightmare coming soon

My nightmare that I expected coming soon... What nightmare some people ask me. Is regarding my club. Election done. Ms. A became President of this coming term. Why I said its a nightmare? Because Ms. A weak on everything. English, computer. Whatever she want to do also ask me to help.

That day our Advisor, Ms. B ask our IPP Mr. A to give Ms. A a training. Let her to handle the meeting. But, Ms. A keep on ask me this and that. Shoot la! 1st time already like this, I can't inmagine when her term come how.

I already told her that I won't be available for 1 year. And I won't involve anything about club meeting and activities. But, she keep on say you can't leave me alone. What the... Don't she think that I got my own things to busy with? She think I 24 hours free? If she think that she can't take the post, please reject la... Why take up? Haih~

Yesterday (1/5) She called me. She told me that our Advisor called her inform her that Mr. B, will be coming back to club. Who is Mr. B? This Mr. B is a very bad person. A person our club people don't like the most. Than I ask her, why you tell me? I'm not the Board of Directors. I'm just a normal member la.

What should I do now? I don't wish she keep on call me and ask about club things. Who can give me advice what should I do?

Friday, May 1, 2009

Death and Virus

Yesterday (30/4), my bos's mother (CMSB - my part time job company) had passed away. When I heard it, I was felt sad, and think nonsense again.

Everyone will go through this process (born, old, sick and death). In my opinion, in this four categories, the most scary category is death. Why I say so? Because once a person pass away especially our most dearest family members or friends, we will feel very very sad.

The most scary part is when we got to face our own times come. This is the part that I don't even dare to face it. I felt it is very scary. After pass away, I don't know where am I will be. How many people will feel sad. Is my body going to burn or what? Really scary.

That's one more things that even make me feel more scary. That's is when one day, my parents leave me. How am I going to face it? I really scared. Without them, I feel lonely, scared. Now, although I make use of everytime, minutes and hour with them. But, I really don't wish it will happen. I don't know whether I can accept it not.

Nowadays, there's a virus called swine flu, is really scary virus. Its makes me don't dare to go anywhere. Just stay at home. I felt is more safer if I don't go out often. But, I still got to go Uni. Huh~ so scary...

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Am I Really Happy Today or Angry?

Today (26/4/09), I don't know is a happy day for me or angry day.

As usual, I work until 4.30pm today. Because of I got club meeting cum celebrating my leo advisor birthday and I also got class gathering, so I can't go home after work.

4.30pm, suddenly rain come. Shoot! How am I going to take bus to Leisure Mall? No choice. Got to rush there. Reached. "Ms.A" supposed go look for present for our Leo Advisor first before I reached. When I reached she only tell me that she forgot to bring money out and haven't go look for anything yet. Damm~. I don't know feel funny or angry. She know that we got to rush to the place at 5pm. Some more she makes the things until 6pm only reached the place. Make all the people there wait for us. I was very sorry to them. Coz I'm the one who ask the meeting to held it early.

During the meeting, I inform my leo advisor that I'll be taking long break. Means that I won't be very active for one year in club. Everyone heard it and ask why. What I can answer is "nothing" "secret". "Ms.A" pula ask me "do I know what is your reason?" I just answer "No and I'm not going to tell you". Then she sangat mahu muka. And said you don't tell me I also know la. Haih~ I don't care what she think la.

Then best friend of mine "Mr.A" said "later you tell me ar" then I said, "I told you already ma". Then he said oh is it? I know this best friend of mine very forgetful. So, I don't mind.

After the meeting, I got to rush to the gathering. I felt so sorry again because I got to rush over, and I didn't even said goodbye to my friends and listen to them.

Although in the whole meeting I also got laugh, but I really don't know is out from the heart not.

Rush to class gathering. No feeling at all. Just feel that I'm back to those days. Those happy days in secondary school.

I heard a lot of advice from one of my friend back to part time studies. But, what I think that, different people, different attitude and thinking. So, some I agree and some disagree. But, I'm still don't know who am I actually nowadays. Am I Tammy?

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

I'm Changing

This few days I was thinking something about myself. I felt that I'm changing. From like to laugh to seldom laugh. From a very talkative person to seldom talk person. And also from like to talk to people become don't like.

I have club meeting this few months as usual. During this month I can't attend because I'm having exam. And a lot's of problem I want to settle become I got to ask my best friend to help to settle. But, after this month I don't really want to attend any meeting. Because I don't feel like going. Some people will ask me why. I also don't know. Just think that I'm tired. I really need a break. And I wish to stay at home more than going out.

I really don't know what happen to myself? I missed the days that I laugh as much as I can, talk as much as I can and chat with friends as much as I can. But now, except I wish to talk to my god brother "Kevin" and my best friend "Mr.A", I don't feel like want to talk with anyone. I understand that both of them also busy with their own things sometimes, so I also seldom disturb them. Some more brother is at Suzhou working, next year only back. Left "Mr.A" can talk too. But, I seldom and don't wish to disturb him. Coz he busy than me.

I don't feel like talk to my family about my problem. I know what they will said. Sometimes I'll cry during midnight when everyone slept. Because that time is the best time for me to express my feelings. Nobody know what I'm doing. I really don't know what way I can use except cry out as much as I can. I really feel that very hard to express my feelings although sometimes I can talk to "Kevin" and "Mr.A". Just don't know how to tell them what I feel. Sometimes I even change topic or become speechless. Coz I also don't know what happen to myself. I feel lost.

Those people I don't like them I wish I can tell them so they know what's their problem is. But, I don't know why I didn't tell. I think I'm too good. I don't wish to hurt anyone of them. Even I don't wish to received any phone calls except "Kevin" and "Mr.A". I feel that its very noisy. I need a quiet place to cool down.

Laugh also not from the heart. All is pretend out. Days before now I laugh out from heart. But now...

Since when I changed? Why I'll become like that? I wish I can back to those happy days. I missed my secondary school life. I missed my college friends and lecturers and my colleague in Elken. I really missed those days with them.

I just hope that I can graduate from the Uni faster. I feel so stress. Uni life really different from college. Although this is the experience that everyone will go through.

Haih~

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Tired week

This week is the most tired week I'm having. Why I said that? I also don't know why. Just feel that not enough sleep and can't sleep at night. When slept, nightmare come. I dream of my exam whole night. The formula, the steps how to answer the question. All about exam. Its makes me can't really sleep at all. What week is this?

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Why? Tell me why?

Why? Why? Why? Why? Why this world is so unfair? Why a good person always "dibuli"? Why a bad person always "tidak dibuli"? Is it really good to become a bad person rather than a good person?

I really can't become a bad person. I can't do it. I always told myself not to be so good & kind. But in the end, failed. I really felt tired. What should I do? How can I solve this problem? Help.... I really need some advice from others...

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

University Life

Is all the university life like this? Study & stress like hell? I really don't know when can I stand for it until. I really really really have no idea. Who can help me? Stress up when think that a lot of assignment & coursework got to do. Some more got to prepare for midterm & final, sometimes got presentation & quiz also.

The most worry things that we students in this University is about the calculation marks procedure in final exam. Its really makes all of us worry, scared & stress up when come to final. Coz the calculation procedure was different with others college. If we can't get half from the total, we will deduct 40% from the total we got.

Although I really enjoy with my new friends there. But still will feel that I'll be crazy soon. Sad Sad~

Thursday, February 12, 2009

A Letter to Brother

Dear Brother,

How are you in SuZhou now? Its already the 4th day you left KL. Hope everything fine there.

I read your blog today. Its sounds that you are enjoying the place there. Coz buy things there is cheper than in KL. That's for sure. But, please don't buy electronic things there. That's what my tour guide told us last time when me & my family went to Beijing last year.

Me & Jason was quite sad coz you left us in KL and you in SuZhou. We felt lonely without you. See! We missed you so much......

Brother, I saw you ate the instant noodles there. Tried get "kong sifu". Its really nice. Trust me! Until now I still missed the taste. Yummy~

Did you bring along the scraft I bought you? Is it useful? Can help? Hehe... coz I'm not sure whether is will help on cool wheather like now a not.

Hope you enjoy as much as you can over there ya! Faster go get one "ah sou" back for me ya! Hahahahaha......Just kidding!

That's it for now. Take good care of yourself ya! Drink more water when the weather change to hot! Bye~

Sunday, February 1, 2009

During Chinese New Year

As usual, this year cny i went back to ipoh with my family again. This time stay there longer then last few years. Coz my mum said she want to go visiting a lot of her relatives house this year as their age very old already. Scared no chance.

Reunion & 1st day of cny no place to go. So, I just do all my Uni coursework and assignment. Sad. CNY holiday=no cny holiday. Haih~.

2nd day we went to Penang visit my dad's sister and have lunch with them.

3rd day we went to 4th grandpaternaluncle house. He already 70+ years old. In the whole conversation between him & my mum they all, I felt that this uncle really is a good person. Why I said that? Because when he talk about when he is young, how to help people, his tears start to come out. What happen is when he is young last time, he don't care how poor he is. As long as his brother's family & friends need help (in money issue), he will give all his money to them to help out. But, sad case is, in the end, nobody appreciated him when his brother's chilren grown up. What kind of this people is? So sad. Only my mum's family & the other friend of my grandpaternaluncle know how to appreciated him back. When I heard that story, I really think that in this world is it really that a good person always will be no "balas baik balik" in the end?

4th day we went to my mum's family friend house, then go lunch, then back home. After dinner at 6pm, then we back to KL. On the way back to KL, I think of my god brother again. Soon, he will flying off already. Really feel sad about it.

5th day actually one of my friend want to go for movie then in the end she said got things on. So, cancelled. So, my best friend said both of us go lo. Then both of us go for movie.

6th day Uni start. No where to go. After class, went to my brother babysitter sister's house bbq.

7th day go visit teacher's house. A lot of things happen on that day. This one sick la. This one car got problem la. Haih~ make the whole planning in mess.

8th day & 9th day back to normal life.

10th day went Tesco with friends buy things to prepare for 11th day event. It was fun. Coz we bought like crazy. But was very tiring coz of not enough sleep during pass few days.

11th day woke up very early again. Went to market bought those food that didn't buy on 10th day. Then went to Giant buy things that we forgot to buy at Tesco. At 2pm, our Lion come. Then start to go to PJ. Half way, car broke down. Under hot sun, wait until the mechanic come. Waited for an hour. Here they come & another Lion come rescue us. Reach PJ around 4pm. Then start to boil soup, set up & stuff. Preparation end around 8pm. Then sit down with members & guest. Start eating around 8.30pm. Was not happy because don't know why there's someone so "kan cheong" to ask me help to close account & do report. Don't that person know that I'm still eating? Why can't wait? Nobody asking for the report yet. Event end around 12am. On the way home, my best friend car kena saman. So cham~. Reach home around 1pm. Take bath and stuff, almost 2am only go to bed.

12th day Woke up at 7am again. Got class at 8am. Not enough sleep again. Keep on like this I really don't know can I tahan a not. Really felt very tired already. Hope to have a break. Saw my re-sit result. Was upset, results same as final. Don't understand why. Finding out. Got to retake both of the subject again. Haih~

13th day Woke up at 6.30am. Was so sleepy. But no choice, coz got to sent mum to her office. The whole company are going down to Redang. Then go have breakfast after sent her to office. Then go for class at 9am. Class started at 9.05am. Half way of class, I was very very sleepy. My eyes start dropping down. Shoot! Then fall asleep around 10 minutes. Then I can't tahan. Go washroom wash my face. Feel better. Noon class start at 1.30pm. Feel sleepy again around 2.30pm. Go wash face again. Class end at 4.30pm. Rush home, then rush to Claris Music to meet my colleague and go for company annual dinner. We start journey at 7.30pm. I car pool colleague A car. Colleague B lead us the way. Guess what? He lead the way until me & my colleague A lost our way. He didn't see whether are we behind at him not he go stratght. Then told us that he wait us somewhere. Ask us go meet him. We said ok. What's happen in the end was we reach that place, he went somewhere else. Shoot la. Then we called other colleague for help to lead us there through telephone. Really thanks for help. Coz she sambil makan, sambil lead us. Poor things. The venue instead spent us around 20minutes to reach became 1 hour plus to reach. At 1.40am, Brother fly off to China. :'( Sob Sob...... Felt sad...... Brother, take care ya!

14th day nothing special. Just went to work then go home.

15th day In the end, it is the last day of CNY. Went for a movie with my friends. Then go home.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Lunch with Brother

Today (6/1/09) went lunch with brother before he fly off next month to China for work 1 year.

We went to Secret Recipe for lunch after my class end at 12pm. When he first saw me, he ask "why I become so thin already? Last time you not that thin wo... Is it really so stress in this Uni"? Then I answer "where got thin"? (Coz we didn't meet up 1 year coz brother was very busy last year, so long didn't meet up, he sure feel that I'm thin already lah.) "So fat still said thin. Of coz feel stress in this Uni la".

As usual, we sambil makan sambil chit chat. Finished around 1pm, he sent me home. Shoot! No small change to pay back brother for lunch. Then I told him about that, as usual, he said don't need la. You are my sister ma. Then I said "aiyo, 10 times makan with you, 10 times also not allow me to pay back". Then brother said "I treat you as my own sister not god sister ma". Aiyo apa bezanya? When reached connaught school, jam. Coz of school over time. So, he decided to drop me near King's Confectionery due to jam. So, its ok for me to walk back. I'm not like somebody that you know jam still want people to fetch her in.

Before get down fom car, brother gave me a hug. Don't know why, suddenly felt so sad that moment. I really to rely on him already. Anything also find him. He gave me a small gift. Its really cute. Brother, Thanks for everything today.

From today on, this cutie will temporary replace brother for 1 year. Shoot... I'm too stupid already. Why think that? Haih~

Brother, hope you will take care yourself & can get use of the environment there ya! Sure will miss you a lot!